questionmarkSometimes one has to wonder what God is doing. In fact right now we are in one of those crazy places in life when we look at everything that is going on around us and really question what Jesus is doing.

For those that don’t know our daughter Sarah has autism. Now when I say that I’m sure you get a mental picture in your mind. Perhaps something you saw on TV with a kid that is socially awkward at best, perhaps gifted with a photographic memory but unable to produce the words or skills to tap into that talent. Maybe you picture someone sitting in a corner rocking back and forth while muttering to themselves. But when I mention that Sarah has autism don’t get that picture in your mind, rather picture a lovely little girl who is completely mainstream; a girl that has a few quirks but nothing that you would make you think she had autism. In fact most of the people in our church had no idea!

I bring up the case of our daughter because by the grace of God she has come so far. The condition she was in a few years back would have confirmed everything you thought you knew about autism, however God has been good to us and through various treatments and therapies she is where she today.

So what does all that have to do with being in a crazy place in life? Finances. While there is no price that we as parents could put on having our daughter be where she is today, the various doctors, therapists, and medicine manufactures have a definite price in mind! Needless to say, it hasn’t been cheap. Not only that but it’s not as if it was a one time expense that we could pay and then move on with life; no, rather, it is a lifestyle that is expensive and one that we have had to endure of the last few years.

As we sit down now and evaluate our financial situation, like many people, we are starting to see how her treatment, and few bad choices on our part, has lead us to a place of some pretty hefty debt. So as we examine our situation and the all the stress that that produces I ask of God, “Why would you give us a child that is so expensive when you know our financial situation?”

A reader recently asked me if I would talk about doubting God, which was so fitting for the situation we are in right now. How does one handle those times in our relationship with God when we struggle with doubting Him? I think there are a couple of ways.

The first thing that comes to mind is the account of the healing of the boy with an unclean spirit in Mark 9:14-29. To recap the story a father brings his possessed child to the disciples to have him cured, however the scribes and the disciples have an argument instead when they are unable to help the child. Jesus finally shows up and the father pleads with him to help his son. In a cry of desperation the father cries out to Jesus, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

When we come into a season of doubt I think we need to start by acknowledging that doubt. Tell God that you are really struggling right now with trusting in the Lord. Tell a friend or a mentor, someone that your trust and ask them to pray for you as you go through this difficult time.

The second thing I recommend is to stick to your guns; what I mean by that is continue to pray and study the Word. You may not feel like God is there at all but the worst thing you can do is to get away from those basic spiritual disciplines. There is something to be said for those that persevere and a dry season of doubt is one of those times.

The last thing I would suggest is to wait. This, as a man, is very hard for me. I want to fix the issue and I want it fixed now! The problem is that usually when you try to fix something the situation becomes worse. Just wait for God to come back around. A wise mentor of mine once told me that the reason sometimes God seems so distant/silent is because he’s busy working on things to come.

So for our lives we’ll continue to work and thank God for what he has done in our lives. I’ll continue to find ways to be faithful with my finances and save what I can, but ultimately Jesus is going to provide for what we need. And when he does, I’ll praise him for that too!

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